Friday, May 30, 2008

From The Couch Detective Herself...

Do you ever watch tv and get so enthralled in the action that you seriously think you could go into that line of work and totally kick ass? This happens to me often.
My mind gets wrapped around the idea and before I know it I am the leading expert in whatever so called field of the week intrigues me.

I admit (not easily) that I have been a wee bit addicted to tv as of late. Mostly because the twins have been extremely fussy with teething and having shots on top just makes for one happy ball of screaming babies. Soothing comes in the form of rocking in our fabulously comfy rocker recliner and the droning sounds of the tv.

Which shows I bet your wondering.. well first let me give you some background. I spent my college years (all three of them) working up lab reports towards a biology degree. One kid was doable and thought I could make it; with two, well I decided that my path into Pathology would not afford me as much time with my family as I would like. School went on Hiatus and well, is still there lurking somewhere in the shadows of my future.
I thought then that I would get into the forensic sciences and be a crime scene investigator. (do you see where I am going with this?) Although I admit that there was always a huge part of me that thought it would be so fun to go to culinary school and be a chef! (however with much thought put into it I decided that it might take the fun out of cooking my nightly meals for my family if I have to cook all day long for other people.)

So.. to my shows. If it has a CSI in the title I am watching it. Law and Order- I'm totally down. Numbers, good crime solving using math. Dr. G medical examiner, oh yeah! When I just happen to catch it on I'll watch it but its not set up in DVR to record. Deadliest catch- you know I'm on board with those fellas! Nanny 911- hello! its so good to watch other peoples kids be holy terrors and then look at your own and think... not bad at all.
Now mind you this is just my DAY time tv when I have to sit in the hot seat with the twins. I'm not huge on tv.. believe it or not.. I would much rather be outside in the garden, or working on something crafty but seeing as I am locked into the chair for at least an hour at a time with these boys I might as well watch something that peaks my interest.

So now where was I? (How easily I forget) Oh yes, the couch detective. I think it would be safe to say that I could be put onto any of the csi team's payrolls- I solve the crimes, oh yeah baby. How sweet would it be to drive fast with lights flashing; roll up to a crime scene, with authority flash a badge and be in charge of the investigation. For me, most likely not in this lifetime, but then I got to thinking how different really is a detective from being a Mom. The similarities will amaze you!
In my deductions I found that:

~We both have taken an oath to be faithful, trustworthy and ethical while upholding the law. (to name a few)
~We both patrol our jurisdiction. (ours maybe just a little smaller)
~We fight to keep the peace (kids are always fighting!)
~ We review the evidence of the crime scenes (rooms uncleaned, broken lamps/chairs/whatever), interview the witnesses and book the guilty parties (or ground them.)
~We head up covert sting operations (use fast talk, go through backpacks, follow to make sure they are doing what they are told)
~We love our coffee and donuts (cheap shot yeah, yeah I know)
~We work all hours of the night and can be called to the scene at any time.
~We have a network of connections (eyes and ears everywhere not to mention our tattle-tail informants)
~We both get paid crap (haha and some of us not at all! *wink)
~We divulge details on a need to know basis
~We are trained in self defense (after all how else do you get out of a pinch, hair pull, child clutching onto your leg for dear life)
~We can jump into the minds of criminal (planning out how kids might escape from play yards, where the best hiding place might be)

Not bad eh? Bet you never thought you would be qualified enough to join the force! Well, but then again, you are already on the Force, The Mom Squad! We maybe only Moms, but it seems to me a Mom has a lot in common with a Detective. (I'm sure we could think of any job and find at least a couple similar qualities that are shared.<--Thats how much we rock!)
So what if I'm only the couch detective and I'm not out there in the trenches of our dirty cities fighting crime. Knowing that I have the skills is good enough for me!


girlytwins said...

I'm right there with you on the Mom Squad. You brought new light to my couch existence ;)

I really enjoyed this post..thanks!

Claremont First Ward said...

WOW. THose comparisons are amazing. I watch very little TV, mainly because the shows I like, CSI, Law and Order, etc. are too graphic for my kids and they are.always.around. I could so be a forensic crime solver though. I think.

Bonnie the Boss said...

Crime Scene Investigation facinates me too. I love the show Bones. You should watch it.
I have a 20th highschool reunion to attend in a few months. I don't want to tell people I am just a mom. I think from your discription I could tell them I am a CSI and do it with a strait face. Thanks for that.

Bonnie the Boss said...

BTW I even am trying to get me a fingerprint kit. So I can find out who ate my candy! Everyone on the mom squad should have one.

Kate said...

Sounds like Moms DO like crime scene investigation! I went through this idea just recently when I was thinking about what to do when I eventually go back to work...if I do. I've been into the ideas since I read the Hardy Boy books in junior high. I LOVED them (even still have the entire collection of hardcovers). Never was a Nancy Drew fan, though. I was always a bit of a tomboy. DId quite a bit of target shooting in my lifetime (since I was 11), joined the martial arts (15). Anyhoo, loved the comparisons!!!!

Lottie_Ellie said...

I gave up all those crime shows when I had the girls because now I think about how everyone is someones kid... and I just cannot watch the violent stuff anymore. I did always think I could out solve the detectives though. I am all about ridiculous reality shows. Now I am convinced that I could flip a house a la "Flipping Out" and cook like a professional chef a la "Top Chef." Ah the joys of being a couch potato.

Connie said...

Oh I always thought I'd be a fabulous forensic psycho;ogist like Jodie Foster a la Hannibel Lector, and a I'm all about reality TV....