Wordless Wednesday-..What A Decade Can Do..

12 years ago
(He still doesn't smile in photos!)
Thanks for creating the chaos with me!
I Love YOU!

The Twins Weigh In..

The in-home nurse came today to assess the boys and see how they were growing.
As of today (which put them at almost 7 mos....so almost 5 mos adjusted age)
Moose was 15.1 LBS and 251/4 inches Long
Bus was 13.15 LBS and 25 inches Long

Hard to believe they are growing so big so fast! Size wise they are actually following pretty closely to what Chugo was at their age. Its raining (and hailing) and cold here today so I think this is the perfect day to relax under a blanket and snuggle with all my guys!

Cookie Monster Relations..

I think that the Great Cookie Monster and myself must have some DNA in common. I just ate four cookies. Yep count them one-two-three-four! I'm peeved at myself but at the same time the flavor was amazing! (gees, better get back on that PLAN wagon quick!)
All I have to say for myself is:
(In song form) Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? ME! I stole the cookies from the cookie jar-
I'm not proud of it- a wee bit ashamed BUT only because I'm suppose to get getting healthy and losing weight. No worries though! Bada-Bing I have On Demand, Exercise TV here I come!!
Well, after I get the twins down for a nap- build a super fort with Kata- Fold that last load of laundry from last night (that should have been folded instead of playing Mario Kart) and get the clean dishes out of the dishwasher and put away.
*sigh* ok so realistically perhaps I could: do lunges into the back room to fold laundry-hold my stomach in while I build the fort and do squats while I pull out the clean dishes. That could work...
My mom always said, "Every exercise is a stomach exercise!" This could work to my advantage!
Mwhahahaha (Maniacal laugh! <--Either from the epiphany or from the sugar rush...who can be sure.)

...The Kart Came First

It's true. Mario Kart came even before my first child. Picture this: Sterile hospital room; I'm rocking in the rocking chair trying not to focus on the pain while sucking on a red Popsicle. (How do you know I know for sure it was a RED Popsicle? Well simply because it is the only one worth eating-That is until years later when I discovered Banana!! Wink) There is the noise from the monitors and the swooshing of zooming of Mario Kart. Yep Mario Kart.
My Technogeek of a Hub (no worries its a term of endearment around here) had brought the N64. He and my sister (now that I think about it it was BOTH my sisters playing!) were duking it out on the race tracks while I breathed through the contractions. Ohhh the memories!

We just got Mario Kart for the Wii. (Hence the flashback!) It was sooooo much fun! We all played and raced. After all a Family that plays Kart together stays together! HAHA
The game allows you to play online against your friends and the Hub had been smack talking to our great friends back in Montana. (who were also getting the game the day it came out.) I could hear our friends screaming and smack talking in my head right along side my Hub doing the same! It always makes me laugh to see how into the games they get!
For those of you with a Wii I highly recommend Mario Kart! Perhaps it will bring your family together as much as it has ours! *Laughs*

Wimpy Wimpy.. Where's The Hefty Hefty?

So..
Yes, its true- I've fallen down the path of diets. *sigh*
Well how else will I lose this baby weight? Certainly not with just exercise alone. (Wait, exercise.. what's that again?)
I opted for the South Beach Plan. (I will now refer to the so called diet as a PLAN so I don't feel so cheated out of not getting to eat all the bad things I once had. Besides who likes to admit they are on a "diet".)
It is actually not to shabby of a plan. Granted the first two weeks are detox Hell, BUT all in all it is something I could live with.
Now where do I weigh in on all this. (pun intended.)
I'm sure like any inquiring mind (or catty woman wishing to find something to smile about knowing you now have the upper hand and ammo to fire off rounds at my pounds! Wink wink) would like to know this.

Go back a couple years- Before I moved out here I worked 12 hour days (yuck) came home ate a quick bite, hung out with the kids then when they were off to bed it was workout time for mommy. I lost a good 15 lbs which brought me to, shall we call it, my starting weight of 138. (and yes that's pounds!)
From there I moved out here totally stoked to be fitting into those sexy size 29 silver tab jeans! (of course low rise but not low enough to where my "coin slot" (as my hub calls it) was sticking out)
Being that I was once again reunited with the Hub (oh yeah The cliff notes on this: *he moved out here for work I stayed behind to sell the business and the house, pack up the house and kids and drive Uhaul+trailer from MT to OR to move into a house that he bought and I had only seen in photos.) the pounds started packing back on.

It could have been the extra brews that I'd been imbibing while attempting to get in a comfortable state meeting tons of new people at all the relatives shin digs, or the extra desserts that well, hey I was down to a good weight -extra pounds shmounds, why did I need to worry? Whats one more slice going to do?! It all added up. (Good thing I am better with finances than I am calories!!)

So this brings our running totally to +20 in two years. (yep for all you non mathletes that means I am now at 158.) Which by most standards is still all good.
Yeah yeah the size 29s are waaaaaay back in the back of the closet but there still hanging in there so thats got to be a good sign right?!

ShaBAM!- Pregnant with twins.
Doc says, "ok little mama we would love if you could pack on at least 50lbs."
Hey, A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do for her babies! So I do it. Thanks to the 3 boost shakes a day and the 3000 calorie diet the nutritionist now had me on. Flash forward to Birth day! YAY the twins are born and while its amazingly scary that they are early and health status still unknown I ask the nurse just for poops and giggles to weigh me.

Drum roll please......-12. Bonus! when your pushing 200 down a couple feels ok. SUUUUURRREEE. (when in all honestly I thought for sure I had just had twins and with all the other junk that was suctioned out of me I must have dropped at least 20 easily)
But that's all that leaves me. I am stuck with the other 38.
(Now now.. I'm not complaining, merely just stating the facts as we all know them.)

Back to present and the "plan" at work.
I just finished my two week detox -10 more!
Sweet holy Mama, I feel like I just stepped off the Biggest Loser scale! Smiles from ear to ear! Guess the celery and egg beaters did pay off in the end! Then it comes to my attention that in order to even get back to that 158 prepreggers weight I still have 28 more to go.

Intimidating.

My friend came over for lunch yesterday and brought mexican food. MMMMM not something that I had the pleasure of consuming during my two week detox. I'm thinking ok, I really shouldn't do this but she is bringing it over and is pregnant and I am NOT about to fight a pregnant lady over food choices so what the hay.
HOLY GUTROT BATMAN! I seriously thought I was going to die.
My stomach hurt not to mention the foul smells coming from the nether lands that left me reeking late into the night. Guess it was my bodies way of telling me 'Mexican need not apply within.'
Needless to say that I am back onto phase 2 in full force and for all you caring individuals who want to keep track I will post a small # with a - or +each week on Thursdays with the total of the week. (Loss or Gain I will post it- I'm calling this my motivation because who wants to post that they gained weight for everyone to see?!)

For those of you who know me personally I hope that you will keep me honest and be nice. You know I am too nice to say No, and would feel terrible if you slaved all day on those sticky rolls and I had to turn one down. So, like the trash bags- I will focus on being hefty and not wimpy!

~On a bonus note: I was complaining (Yee gads can you believe it!) to a friend about finding the time to work out and she told me to lay on the floor and do every moment the twins did for 5 mins. She guaranteed it would be a work out.
That night I watched them both wiggling and rolling about and decided there was no possible way I could keep up. Wow, this exercise thing might be harder than I thought!

Less Words Wednesday

Random Photo night:

HELLO LADIES!
We're the $$ Baby!

You mean to tell me our feet are Identical too??




Are we done yet? We wanna git to gettin!
(To bed that is!)

I was an Eeyore..

Yep it's true. For the past couple months I had chosen to be Eeyore instead of Tigger. Now your probably thinking to yourself, what the heck is she talking about?! Well.. to answer the question invading your mind-The Last Lecture.
Never heard of it? Funny, not many people have- well that is, until Prime Time did a story on it last week.
The Last Lecture- A love story for your life is a lecture (and a book) by Randy Pausch an amazing 47 yr old Computer Prof who is dying of Cancer. I would go into it in more detail but I feel that everyone should experience this for themselves.
Please check it out at:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5700431505846055184

Its long but if you have the time I Promise you won't regret it. :)


So how does this lecture bring me to my point of Eeyore? Well as we all know Eeyore is a wee bit on the pessimistic side. (OK so wee bit is an understatement.) He is gloomy and while still adorable always finds something to complain about. This was me to a T! Then one day it all changed. I went into the doctors office for a routine exam and a week later was told I needed to come in for further testing. It was possible it was Cancer. Even the mere mention of it threw me into a tizzy. I just knew that God wouldn't do that to me...would He? I had just had twin sons, and watched them fight for their lives, and now I was going to have fight for my own? It just didn't seem fair. But as I recalled time and time again from my childhood-"Who says life is fair?"
The testing came and went and the agonizing wait for the results seemed to never end. During that time I found myself worrying and thinking if it came down to it and I had to depart this Earth, what things would be most important for me to leave my sons. What lessons, values, memories.
I know, what morbid thoughts right?!
I had finally come to grips with the idea that maybe my time here was done. Obviously I would fight like there was no tomorrow but as Randy had so eloquently put it, "you can't change the cards your dealt, but you can decide on how to play them." I didn't even have the results yet but I knew I was already starting to feel at peace with whatever decision God had made for me.

I was lucky. Just precancerous cells that would be monitored over the next few months and years. *sigh of relief for now*

I am, by nature; a planner, controller and an organizer. Mind you my house may not always be organized, under control or planned out correctly but never the less I am these things. When I found out I was pregnant with the twins and heard what I was going to have to undergo- I let go. I gave it to God. (or so I thought.) I couldn't plan the birth, but I did get the nursery perfect. I couldn't control what was going on at home when I was inpatient- but you better believe I called and threw my two cents in every chance I got! Did I learn my lesson? Apparently not. So perhaps this testing and waiting for my results was in fact round two of my learning to let go.
I'm far from perfect and maybe just maybe I've learned a little more of the lesson- but I'm only human and there is still a portion of me that thinks I can fix it all and I know best. But I don't and I can't.

What I *have* learned is this:

~I won't take anything (or anyone) for granted
~I DO have all that I need
~Negative thoughts don't help me

I've been blessed in more ways than I could ever thank. I've been given more chances than I've probably ever deserved and been loved more, so far in my life, than I could have ever asked for!
Happiness may not be attainable everyday- but I have the comfort in knowing no matter what comes my way I will be Tigger. (and keep bouncing right back.)
I *will* be strong enough to get back up from my knees after getting beat down. No matter how tired I am I will leave each day with a smile for I know this life is the only one I've got and I'm not going to waste one more day fretting over the minor details.
Let the pieces fall where they may and the cards be dealt.
~I'll play the best game that I can!!

Size-Comfort and Feel... it will never be the same again!

So The search is on for a new bra. why am I blogging about this, well its simple- I'm frustrated! I used to love bra shopping and of course it was immediately to Victoria's Secret but well, as I am in this transitional phase of working out and trying to drop some pounds I knew that the tatties were the first things to go weight wise. I've come to find out after trying on umpteen different styles that I'm no longer the same size. Mind you to most women going up a size would be great- well not to this little lady! (granted the Hub is totally ecstatic that the "twins" have decided to stay- and by twins I mean the girly ones God gave me that got nicknamed the twins before the Real twins came along! HAHA-get it?) So.. in light of my frustrations I found this photo from engrish.com which I like to frequent here and there for a laugh. This one just seemed fitting!

Wordless Wednesday

The Good Ol' Days When Mom Had More "Fun" Free Time!

Oh my.. I'm back and it feels so good!

OMGosh! It feels like I have been away from the net for eons! (Well it was days really but it felt longer!) Our internet was down, the funny thing was while although I missed catching up on everyones blogs and checking email- I actually got a lot of housework done! (And I don't even spend that much time online really!) I guess I just needed to find some other form of losing myself. (Hmm.. that doesn't seem right though, If I can't lose myself in the net then I can lose myself in laundry and dishes? Oh well.. regardless.. I lost myself!)
I have found that sleeping babies makes for good reading time. Now granted I know its frowned upon to hold your babies while they sleep but it seems that their morning nap (which is the exact same time every day I kid you not!) they will sleep longer if I hold them. So.. well they are so much happier when they nap longer and the house seems sooooo quiet so why the heck not! Now mind you, before I sit and indulge myself in literary wonderment, I've finished almost half my to do list for the day. I truly believe I've earned that time! *Wink
I'm sure I have more to but for now... I sleep and will try and make more sense in the morning!

What defines your worth as a person

I took a test online (http://www.humanforsale.com/) to see what I would be worth.
~You are worth exactly $2,009,000

Doesn't seem like much in the grand scheme of things. I guess that if I was a bit skinnier, perhaps a bit smarter, who knows maybe I would be worth more.
My Mom left for MT today. This will be the first time I've been flying solo with the twins without extra help. (Yeah, yeah I know, I had it real rough so I shouldn't complain about doing it all now!)
My sister in law just told us today that she is pregnant (I'm happy for her don't get me wrong but its change. It makes me feel old seeing as my oldest is almost 10. and I have all boys and the only boy grandkids on the hubby's side. What if its a girl.. the first girl.. bittersweet ya know?!)
and the tax info came today with how much we owe. (needless to say I decided to get all my crying out in one day!) <--Although I didn't cry nearly as much as I anticipated I would. I got antsy instead and mopped the kitchen floor. Not to mention I'm just about dried up on the milk front, so do I quit pumping, or go on a bit longer and save up a weeks worth of pumps to get two bottles out of it? So many changes all at once in life. I know its partially some baby blues but I've been a bit on the low confidence fence as of late and it got me thinking about self worth. What is it? What defines worth? Is it how much you do for your family? How much money you make or the clothes you wear? What really makes a person? And if you think you've decided on a good "worth" for yourself then why do we all of the sudden get jealous of others? Are they worth more than us? I suppose in a perfect world everyone would be content with themselves just how they are- but its not a perfect world, its one filled with doubts and uncertainty. Its filled with the yes men and women who never fully get the idea of what the truth means or how to utilize it. Am I a yes women? I do what people ask of me even when I don't want to, but I thought that was more out of respect?! I do speak my mind, but maybe I am speaking to the wrong people? Stuart Smalley once looked in the mirror and said, "You're good enough, you're smart enough, and Gosh darn it, people like you!" Could a daily affirmation really affirm your self worth?
........................................Maybe I'll give it a try and see.

Conversations with a 6 yr old..

So I was looking at the twins today on their 6 mos mini birthday and then over to my rambunctious 6 yr old and realized that time was not on my side. Before I know it they will be six and I was trying to imagine them at that age. Would they be Super Hero dress-up costume obsessed like Kata? Would they run around the house never seeming out of energy? Would they pitch as huge of fits as he does and practically stomp through my floors? (that thought made me cringe!) Would they come up with the crazy outlandish stories and comments like both my older sons? Then I got to thinking about all the silly things my boys have said in their youth so far and thought I would compile then here for future reference.

(In story form..)

"Mom, what are you doing?"
"I'm pumping honey, can you give me some privacy? (As he attempts to pull his eyes away and leave) He runs out yelling, "Chugo, Mom is pumping and there are these brown things going in and out!"

(We were leaving the house to go to a party)
"Does Wine make you chubby?"
"No"
"Does it make you skinny?"
"Not that I'm aware of."
"Well I think that you should probably start working out a little bit Mom."
(And I'm not even a drinker! kids)

(At the dinner table with family over during normal conversation he pulls this one out..)
"Did you know that when boys get old they grow hair on their peepees?"
(Well its true but at the dinner table?? UGH)

(as he likes to dress up in costume.. we were heading over to the NICU to visit the twins and he was dressed all in black. He and my brother were wandering the halls and got stopped by a gal commenting on his get-up)
"Oh, now what are you suppose to be sweetie?"
"I'm the Grim Reaper!" He says with a smile and does a turn to show off his entire ensemble.
The lady gave my brother a sour look as he smiled at her thinking what a character his nephew was until he realized that OMgosh we are in a hospital--Quickly the Reaper was derobed and packed away.

(after coming home from delivering the twins and trying to relax)
"Mom, your lap is getting bigger! There is room for me to sit! Did you do that just for me?"
How could I resist not saying yes? *Wink

and thats only a start...

Wordless Wednesday

So Ok its not suppose to have words but... I saw that a couple of my blog gals do this wordless Wednesday and seeing as I'm not the best about thinking of things to write about I thought this would be a fabulous way to just add a fun photo each week! (And if you know my family.. lemme tell ya thats what we do best!)