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Saturday, April 5, 2008

What defines your worth as a person

I took a test online (http://www.humanforsale.com/) to see what I would be worth.
~You are worth exactly $2,009,000

Doesn't seem like much in the grand scheme of things. I guess that if I was a bit skinnier, perhaps a bit smarter, who knows maybe I would be worth more.
My Mom left for MT today. This will be the first time I've been flying solo with the twins without extra help. (Yeah, yeah I know, I had it real rough so I shouldn't complain about doing it all now!)
My sister in law just told us today that she is pregnant (I'm happy for her don't get me wrong but its change. It makes me feel old seeing as my oldest is almost 10. and I have all boys and the only boy grandkids on the hubby's side. What if its a girl.. the first girl.. bittersweet ya know?!)
and the tax info came today with how much we owe. (needless to say I decided to get all my crying out in one day!) <--Although I didn't cry nearly as much as I anticipated I would. I got antsy instead and mopped the kitchen floor. Not to mention I'm just about dried up on the milk front, so do I quit pumping, or go on a bit longer and save up a weeks worth of pumps to get two bottles out of it? So many changes all at once in life. I know its partially some baby blues but I've been a bit on the low confidence fence as of late and it got me thinking about self worth. What is it? What defines worth? Is it how much you do for your family? How much money you make or the clothes you wear? What really makes a person? And if you think you've decided on a good "worth" for yourself then why do we all of the sudden get jealous of others? Are they worth more than us? I suppose in a perfect world everyone would be content with themselves just how they are- but its not a perfect world, its one filled with doubts and uncertainty. Its filled with the yes men and women who never fully get the idea of what the truth means or how to utilize it. Am I a yes women? I do what people ask of me even when I don't want to, but I thought that was more out of respect?! I do speak my mind, but maybe I am speaking to the wrong people? Stuart Smalley once looked in the mirror and said, "You're good enough, you're smart enough, and Gosh darn it, people like you!" Could a daily affirmation really affirm your self worth?
........................................Maybe I'll give it a try and see.


2 comments:

Claremont First Ward said...

This was a great analytical/revealing post. I also did the post and as a woman that does not work outside the home, my value definitely dropped. It's sad that one's genetic makeup contributes to the formula of how much one is worth...

My milk pretty much dried up as soon as I stopped pumping through the night. I was sad about stopping pumping, but after a few weeks I couldn't believe how FREE I felt.

Hang in there...I'm sure you'll find with your mom gone that you are capable of doing a lot more than you thought...

let's get together soon!

Jaime said...

This is a great post. Maybe I need to evaluate myself and my life. By the way, you are worth quite a bit more than me!